Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Friday, April 10, 2009
Friday Funny....Panties on the plane
There were three black ladies getting ready to take a plane trip fo r the first time.The first lady said, I don't know about you, but I'mgonna wear me some hot pink panties before I get on that plane.""Why you gonna wear them?" the other two asked? The first replied, " Cause, if that plane goes down, and I'm out there laying butt-up in a cornfield, they’re gonna find me first."
The second lady said, "Well, I'm gonna wearme some florescent orange panties. "Why you gonna wear them?" the others asked. The second lady answered, "Cause if this here plane is goin' down and I’m floating butt-up in the 0cean, they will see me first." The third lady says, "Well, I'm not gonna wearany panties...."What?............ No panties?............" the others asked in disbelief. The third lady says, "That's right girlfriends, you’re hearing me right. I ain't wearing any panties, cause if this plane goes down, honey,they’ll always look for the black box first."
The second lady said, "Well, I'm gonna wearme some florescent orange panties. "Why you gonna wear them?" the others asked. The second lady answered, "Cause if this here plane is goin' down and I’m floating butt-up in the 0cean, they will see me first." The third lady says, "Well, I'm not gonna wearany panties...."What?............ No panties?............" the others asked in disbelief. The third lady says, "That's right girlfriends, you’re hearing me right. I ain't wearing any panties, cause if this plane goes down, honey,they’ll always look for the black box first."
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Moving....again.
So...we are moving. We've been living in a townhome for the last year, and I'm going crazy. We have the wackiest neighbors, and a murder (yes, I said MURDER) happened about a month ago a block and a half from where we live. Well, needless to say I started looking at new places. Our lease was up March 6th, so hubby and I started looking around to see what kind of deals were out there since the market in this area has taken a complete nose dive. We had walked through this amazing property and noticed the sign said for sale or lease, but surely this place wouldn't accept dogs. We were wrong they did and I'm so excited cause we are going have at least 1000 more square feet and two more bedrooms. I'll post some pics as soon as we get moved in.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
SWIMMING!
Bailey has been taken swimming lessons weekly for sometime now, and she's getting really comfortable in the water now. Here are a few pics from her lesson last week.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Futurity...
I was home last weekend for the NCHA Cutting Horse Furturity...I had a blast. I ran into people I hadn't seen in years, including the trainer I used to for. Funny cause he and his wife almost didn't recognize me, I guess that tells me just how far removed I am from what was my "old life"...either that or I am aging poorly!!! I really miss it, the whole thing...the way people sit around in eachothers booths having a beer and shootin the breeze, and before you know it there's an impromtu concert with some cowboy and his buddies. I feel so at "home" there and it's like I never left. I had chance to get swung around the dancefloor, and remember the days I was sneaking in the back door or the bar hoping I wouldn't get caught by the bouncers. Oh what fun! I was so sad when I drove home about how much I would miss it all that I cried the whole way. I guees time to put up the boots and rhinestones and pull out the flip flops and Uggs again....Here's to hoping I'll be back soon.....real, real soon.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Why do we love children?
IF THIS DOES NOT BRIGHTEN YOUR DAY TURN OFF YOUR COMPUTER AND GO BACK TO BED.
1) NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'
2) OPINIONS On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents.'
3) KETCHUP A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle.'
4) MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'
5) POLICE # 1 While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop? Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report. My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told her. 'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?'
6) POLICE # 2 It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake , was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back there?' he asked. 'It sure is,' I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, 'What'd he do?'
7) ELDERLY While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'
8) DRESS-UP A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.' 'And why not, darling?' 'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning'
9) DEATH While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: 'Glory be unto the Father, and unto the Son, and into the hole he goes.' (I want this line used at my funeral!)
10) SCHOOL A little girl had just finished her first week of school . 'I'm just wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!'
11) BIBLE A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. 'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out. 'What have you got there, dear?' With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear!'
1) NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'
2) OPINIONS On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents.'
3) KETCHUP A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle.'
4) MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'
5) POLICE # 1 While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop? Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report. My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told her. 'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?'
6) POLICE # 2 It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake , was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back there?' he asked. 'It sure is,' I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, 'What'd he do?'
7) ELDERLY While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'
8) DRESS-UP A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.' 'And why not, darling?' 'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning'
9) DEATH While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: 'Glory be unto the Father, and unto the Son, and into the hole he goes.' (I want this line used at my funeral!)
10) SCHOOL A little girl had just finished her first week of school . 'I'm just wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!'
11) BIBLE A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. 'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out. 'What have you got there, dear?' With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear!'
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Samantha Who....
Love this show. Good question was posed on the show this week....does everyone have a "fallback guy/gal" kind of like the one person you could always fall back to if your current relationship didn't work out. I think everyone has at least one person in mind. Just made me think...
Friday, November 7, 2008
Wide open spaces....
I don't know why, but just this week I feel smothered. I need space...lots of it, and preferably where I'm alone...except for maybe a horse, good friend and my little Cutter Dog. I miss Texas, I miss having the ability to call up a friend and be able to get lost on a horse somewhere. I miss easier times...I love my daughter and I'd love to have more....but I can't help but think that at times I'm really done. I feel like I need to get back to my roots of what really makes me happy...it's been a while...a long, long while. I hate where I live, I don't like my job and I miss Texas....everything about it.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Friday, October 24, 2008
BUSH'S RESIGNATION SPEECH
The following 'speech' was written recently by an ordinary Maine-iac [a resident of the People's Republic of Maine]. While satirical in nature, all satire must have a basis in fact to be effective. This is an excellent piece by a person who does not write for a living.
The speech George W. Bush might give:
Normally, I start these things out by saying 'My Fellow Americans.' Not doing it this time.If the polls are any indication, I don't know who more than half of you are anymore. I do know something terrible has happened and that you're really not fellow Americans any longer. I'll cut right to the chase here: I quit. Now before anyone gets all in a lather about mequitting to avoid impeachment, or to avoid prosecution or something, let me assure you:There's been no breaking of laws or impeachable offenses in this office.
The reason I'm quitting is simple. I'm fed up with you people. I'm fed up because you have no understanding of what's really going on in the world. Or of what's going on in this once-great nation of ours. And the majority of you are too lazy to do your homework and figure it out.
Let's start locally. You've been sold a bill of goods by politicians and the news media.
Meanwhile, all you can do is whine about gas prices, and most of you are too damn stupid to realize that gas prices are high because there's increased demand in other parts of the world, and because a small handful of noisy idiots are more worried about polar bears and beachfront property than your economic security.
We face real threats in the world. Don't give me this 'blood for oil' thing. If I were trading blood for oil I would've already seized Iraq's oil fields and let the rest of the country go to hell. And don't give me this 'Bush Lied ... People Died' crap either. If I were the liar you morons take me for, I could've easily had chemical weapons planted in Iraqso they couldbe 'discovered.' Instead, I owned up to the fact that the intelligence was faulty.
Let me remind you that the rest of the world thought Saddam had the goods, same as I.Let me also remind you that regime change in Iraq was official US policy before I cameinto office. Some guy named 'Clinton' established that policy. Bet you didn't know that,did you?
Now some of you morons want to be led by a junior senator with no understanding of foreign policy or economics, and this nitwit says we should attack Pakistan, a nuclear ally. And then he wants to go to Iran and make peace with a terrorist who says he's going to destroy us. While he's doing that, he wants to give Iraq to al Qaeda, Afghanistan to the Taliban, Israel to the Palestinians, and your money to the IRS so the government can give welfare to illegal aliens, who he will make into citizens, so they can vote to re-elect him. He also thinks it's okay for Iran to have nuclear weapons, and we should stop our foreign aid to Israel. Did you sleep through high school?
You idiots need to understand that we face a unique enemy. Back during the cold war, there were two major competing political and economic models squaring off. We won that war, but we did so because fundamentally, the Communists wanted to survive, just as we do. We were simply able to out spend and out-tech them.
That's not the case this time. The soldiers of our new enemy don't care if they survive. In fact, they want to die. That'd be fine, as long as they weren't also committed to taking as many of you with them as they can. But they are. They want to kill you, and they are all over the globe.
You should be grateful that they haven't gotten any more of us here in the United States since September 11. But you're not. That's because you've got no idea how hard a small number of intelligence, military, law enforcement, and homeland security people have worked to make sure of that. When this whole mess started, I warned you that this would be a long and difficult fight. I'm disappointed how many of you people think a long and difficult fight amounts to a single season of 'Survivor.'
Instead, you've grown impatient. You're incapable of seeing things through the long lens of history, the way our enemies do. You think that wars should last a few months, a few years, tops.
Making matters worse, you actively support those who help the enemy. Every time you buy the New York Times, every time you send a donation to a cut-and-run Democrat's political campaign, well, dang it, you might just as well FedEx a grenade launcher to a Jihadist. It amounts to the same thing.
In this day and age, it's easy enough to find the truth. It's all over the Internet. It just isn't on the pages of the New York Times, USA Today, or on NBC News. But even if it were, I doubt you'd be any smarter. Most of you would rather watch American Idol or Dancing With The Stars.
I could say more about your expectations that the government will always be there to bail you out, even if you're too stupid to leave a city that's below sea level and has a hurricane approaching.
I could say more about your insane belief that government, not your own wallet, is where the money comes from. But I've come to the conclusion that were I to do so, it would sail right over your heads.
So I quit. I'm going back to Crawford. I've got an energy-efficient house down there (Al Gore could only dream) and the capability to be fully self-sufficient for years. No one ever heard of Crawford before I got elected, and as soon as I'm done here, pretty much no one will ever hear of it again. Maybe I'll be lucky enough to die of old age before the last pillars of America fall.
Oh, and by the way, Cheney's quitting too. That means Pelosi is your new President.You asked for it. Watch what she does carefully, because I still have a glimmer of hope that there are just enough of you remaining who are smart enough to turn this thing around in 2008.
So that's it. God bless what's left of America.
Some of you know what I mean. The rest of you, kiss-off.
PS - You might want to start learning Farsi, and buy a Koran.
The speech George W. Bush might give:
Normally, I start these things out by saying 'My Fellow Americans.' Not doing it this time.If the polls are any indication, I don't know who more than half of you are anymore. I do know something terrible has happened and that you're really not fellow Americans any longer. I'll cut right to the chase here: I quit. Now before anyone gets all in a lather about mequitting to avoid impeachment, or to avoid prosecution or something, let me assure you:There's been no breaking of laws or impeachable offenses in this office.
The reason I'm quitting is simple. I'm fed up with you people. I'm fed up because you have no understanding of what's really going on in the world. Or of what's going on in this once-great nation of ours. And the majority of you are too lazy to do your homework and figure it out.
Let's start locally. You've been sold a bill of goods by politicians and the news media.
Meanwhile, all you can do is whine about gas prices, and most of you are too damn stupid to realize that gas prices are high because there's increased demand in other parts of the world, and because a small handful of noisy idiots are more worried about polar bears and beachfront property than your economic security.
We face real threats in the world. Don't give me this 'blood for oil' thing. If I were trading blood for oil I would've already seized Iraq's oil fields and let the rest of the country go to hell. And don't give me this 'Bush Lied ... People Died' crap either. If I were the liar you morons take me for, I could've easily had chemical weapons planted in Iraqso they couldbe 'discovered.' Instead, I owned up to the fact that the intelligence was faulty.
Let me remind you that the rest of the world thought Saddam had the goods, same as I.Let me also remind you that regime change in Iraq was official US policy before I cameinto office. Some guy named 'Clinton' established that policy. Bet you didn't know that,did you?
Now some of you morons want to be led by a junior senator with no understanding of foreign policy or economics, and this nitwit says we should attack Pakistan, a nuclear ally. And then he wants to go to Iran and make peace with a terrorist who says he's going to destroy us. While he's doing that, he wants to give Iraq to al Qaeda, Afghanistan to the Taliban, Israel to the Palestinians, and your money to the IRS so the government can give welfare to illegal aliens, who he will make into citizens, so they can vote to re-elect him. He also thinks it's okay for Iran to have nuclear weapons, and we should stop our foreign aid to Israel. Did you sleep through high school?
You idiots need to understand that we face a unique enemy. Back during the cold war, there were two major competing political and economic models squaring off. We won that war, but we did so because fundamentally, the Communists wanted to survive, just as we do. We were simply able to out spend and out-tech them.
That's not the case this time. The soldiers of our new enemy don't care if they survive. In fact, they want to die. That'd be fine, as long as they weren't also committed to taking as many of you with them as they can. But they are. They want to kill you, and they are all over the globe.
You should be grateful that they haven't gotten any more of us here in the United States since September 11. But you're not. That's because you've got no idea how hard a small number of intelligence, military, law enforcement, and homeland security people have worked to make sure of that. When this whole mess started, I warned you that this would be a long and difficult fight. I'm disappointed how many of you people think a long and difficult fight amounts to a single season of 'Survivor.'
Instead, you've grown impatient. You're incapable of seeing things through the long lens of history, the way our enemies do. You think that wars should last a few months, a few years, tops.
Making matters worse, you actively support those who help the enemy. Every time you buy the New York Times, every time you send a donation to a cut-and-run Democrat's political campaign, well, dang it, you might just as well FedEx a grenade launcher to a Jihadist. It amounts to the same thing.
In this day and age, it's easy enough to find the truth. It's all over the Internet. It just isn't on the pages of the New York Times, USA Today, or on NBC News. But even if it were, I doubt you'd be any smarter. Most of you would rather watch American Idol or Dancing With The Stars.
I could say more about your expectations that the government will always be there to bail you out, even if you're too stupid to leave a city that's below sea level and has a hurricane approaching.
I could say more about your insane belief that government, not your own wallet, is where the money comes from. But I've come to the conclusion that were I to do so, it would sail right over your heads.
So I quit. I'm going back to Crawford. I've got an energy-efficient house down there (Al Gore could only dream) and the capability to be fully self-sufficient for years. No one ever heard of Crawford before I got elected, and as soon as I'm done here, pretty much no one will ever hear of it again. Maybe I'll be lucky enough to die of old age before the last pillars of America fall.
Oh, and by the way, Cheney's quitting too. That means Pelosi is your new President.You asked for it. Watch what she does carefully, because I still have a glimmer of hope that there are just enough of you remaining who are smart enough to turn this thing around in 2008.
So that's it. God bless what's left of America.
Some of you know what I mean. The rest of you, kiss-off.
PS - You might want to start learning Farsi, and buy a Koran.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Freudian Slip...
This absentee ballot was sent out to voters in Rensselaer County in New York state. Photo credit: Albany Times Union newspaper(CNN) — Some are calling it a Freudian slip. Everyone’s calling it a big mistake.
Hundreds of absentee ballots sent to voters in New York State’s Rensselaer County, near Albany, were printed with Barack Obama’s last name spelled as “Osama," the Albany Times Union reports.
County elections officials tell the newspaper that it was a typo that made it by three rounds of proof-readers. They also said the error affected just a few hundred voters, and that they will re-send corrected ballots on request.
Filed under: Barack Obama
Fun facts.....
Body count. In the last six months:
*292 killed (murdered) in Chicago (this in a city/county where handguns have been banned since 1980!) 221 killed in Iraq
*Sen. Barack Obama, Sen. Dick Durbin, Rep. Jesse Jackson Jr., Gov. Rod Blogojevich, House leader Mike Madigan, Atty. Gen. Lisa Madigan (daughter of Mike), Mayor Richa rd M. Daley (son of Mayor Richard J. Daley)...the political leadership in Illinois...are all Democrats. Thank you for the combat zone in Chicago . Of course they're all blaming each other. Can't blame Republicans 'cuz there aren't any!
*State pension fund $44 Billion in debt, worst in country.
*Cook County ( Chicago ) sales tax 10.25% highest in country. Chicago school system one of the worst in country.
This is the political culture that Obama comes from in Illinois ...and he's gonna 'fix' Washington politics? Yeah, right!
*292 killed (murdered) in Chicago (this in a city/county where handguns have been banned since 1980!) 221 killed in Iraq
*Sen. Barack Obama, Sen. Dick Durbin, Rep. Jesse Jackson Jr., Gov. Rod Blogojevich, House leader Mike Madigan, Atty. Gen. Lisa Madigan (daughter of Mike), Mayor Richa rd M. Daley (son of Mayor Richard J. Daley)...the political leadership in Illinois...are all Democrats. Thank you for the combat zone in Chicago . Of course they're all blaming each other. Can't blame Republicans 'cuz there aren't any!
*State pension fund $44 Billion in debt, worst in country.
*Cook County ( Chicago ) sales tax 10.25% highest in country. Chicago school system one of the worst in country.
This is the political culture that Obama comes from in Illinois ...and he's gonna 'fix' Washington politics? Yeah, right!
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Heelarious....
Okay, so I can now say that I have seen it all. High heeled shoes for infants. I know that I may be sick and twisted, but I LOVE these. I'm just sad that they didn't have (or I didn't know about) these when Bailey was still a non-walker. Am I the only one that thinks these are too, cute?!?!?!
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
NEMO, nemo, nemo nemo.....
My kid is officially obsessed with Nemo. We took her to the Long Beach Aquarium a few weeks ago, and she loved it.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Forever....
Okay so it's forever since I posted, but it's been CRAZY! We've had a lot of firsts lately. Two of the most important carnival ride and 1st pony ride (got to get them started early, right Jen.)
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Busy bee!
It's been chaos around my house lately. I started a new job with a major defense contractor in July, my mom and sister came into town for Miss B's 2nd birthday and this week we have Joe's parents. So needless to say it's been a little busy around my house lately. I need to post some new pictures of the curtain climber...she's getting so big it's amazing. I went through some her clothes the other day..and I got a little baby fever. I go back and forth being ready for number two, I really liked being pregnant after the 4 months of horrendous morning (wait...it was all day/night) sickness, and she was such a good baby, she slept through the night at around 8 weeks and for the most part was so happy. Makes me wonder if I would be so lucky with number two...and she is easy now. Completely out of diapers and loves her school, so why fix a good thing, but even if we got pregnant within the next 6 mos they would be about 3 years apart which I think would be perfect cause my sister and I are 5 years apart and I almost think that was too far apart. So here is my dilemma...how many years apart is too many and how much harder is it with two kids vs. one.
Monday, July 7, 2008
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Just a Tuesday...
Not much going on around here except Miss B starting her new school on Monday, we moved her from a traditional in home daycare/preschool to a Montessori school. She is doing so well for her second day, not one tear has been shed and she is sleeping wonferfully at nap time. That's my little trooper. The school asked for a family picture to go in her "earthquake preparedness" pack...so I take a self portrait no make up and right before Sunday dinner. Thankfully my hair is growing out somewhat...but it's taking forever.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Friends.....
We need friends....badly. It's so hard moving to a new community, let alone new state and trying to make friends. I was just getting setteled with a great group of girlfriends in Colorado...we would have our "mommy night out" here and there...and to be frank...I am sick with a capital S of my husband. Just kidding, but really a girl needs her girlies every now and then...thank goodness for Blockbuster otherwise we (Joe and I) would run out of things to talk about. So, if anyone wants to fly out and visit us...you are welcome anytime! Did I mention we are less than 2 miles from the BEACH...ughhh...I need a martini and pedicure. I can't wait for my mom and sister to come out in August...but what am I supposed to do with myself until then.
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